Friday, August 1, 2008

reading is important.

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new. Shall I not call God the Beautiful, who daily sheweth Himself so to me in his gift? I chide society, I embrace solitude, and yet I am not so undgrateful as not to see the wise, the lovely, and the noble minded, as from time to time they pass my gate...
High thanks I owe to you excellent lovers who carry out the world for me to new and noble depth, and enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts." Emerson

"The only ones for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'AWWW!'"
-Jack Kerouac (from On the Road)

"Odd how the creative power at once brings the whole universe to order."

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us,
tat God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison-that though I make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.
Conduct yourselves wisely twoard outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."
Col: 4:2-5

...*post revised after "incident" on metra.

reading is still important...however the art of letting words and wisdom become part of your core...letting them sink into the marrow of your bones...well this is of the UTMOST importance...and ironically, INSANELY difficult.

take for example-this evening's train ride home from the city.
it was a late one. the last one.
there was an influx of guys all throughout each box car, all very unruly and all very very drunk.
the scene was all too familiar, as i have witnessed this re-run for months.
the story is always the same. each time get would get off at my stop utterly disgusted and completely shocked, because without fail it always turned out that these "upstanding citizens" were representing the US Naval Base.
I have heard some of the most ignorant, disrespectful, degrading, and abusive language come out of their mouths right in front of women and children. and every time i would sit in silence and shake my head and wonder why i didn't come out and say something.

well tonight i said something. actually, tonight i said many things.
and while i would like to say i am proud of myself for "taking a stand"-
i did it in such an unloving, "unseasoned" unrespectful way,
that i am having a really hard time patting myself on the back.

"Conduct yourself wisely towards outsiders."

yes, Lord. but surely I was right in this situation.
Let your speech always be gracious..."

but they needed to hear the TRUTH about their actions and how ignorant they are!

..."declare the mystery of Christ....

The mystery of Christ was the last thing I declared tonight.
Instead I declared them un-intelligent, a disgrace to themselves and a disgrace to what they stand for...

there is more.
I would not have actually come to the conclusion that this little tyrade of mine was out of line if not for my friend,
who saw fit to gently come along side me and offer up the conclusion that what I displayed and communicated to those men was not out of concern or love or respect-rather it had the root of anger and the thistly blossom of disdain. That there was nothing wrong with the point I was attempting to make, but the issue of the heart, where all of it was coming from, was extremely off base.
wow. nothing like a good dose of truth...

"high thanks i owe to you excellent lovers....enlarging the meaning of my thoughts."

i love words. reading them, writing them, playing with them...
but sometimes... their Truths force you to LIVE them.
a task so much more difficult than any stream of consciousness,
succinct outline, or children's poem.


1 comment:

James said...

that is a really nice photo of you jessi! hope things are going well for you.

your dragon slaying friend.