Sunday, August 24, 2008

Miracles Do Happen





Much to my dismay, an influx of activity these past couple weeks has left little time for reflection
and even less time for documentation.

Example: (Walking back to sit with mom on the beach :
"So, did you write something good?"
"No. all of it is quite dreadful actually."

So for now, the moment of magic that I am able to articulate at such a late hour, and after such an exhausting schedule...
is a tiny victory involving his Royal Highness and a water spout...

Now i am well aware of the line that needs to drawn between a pet and it's owner.
I can say most assuredly that I will never pay for Fitz to have cataract surgery, or physical therapy for arthritis, any form of spa treatment to decrease shedding etc.
however...
i have noticed that when it comes to the smaller things....
things like brands of food, or climate temperatures, or how the house is decorated, or the distance of his litterbox to his foodbowl, or the way in which he likes to be scratched, played with, or adored...
well i will be the first to sheepishly admit, that either i have undergone some kind of electric shock brainwash treatment...
or am just much more of a pushover than i thought...because when he said jump, i always put on my Nikes and asked "how high?"

this unattractive and weak form of adoration was most evident in a little ritual that beth and i lovingly referred to as the "rise and whine." basically it involved Fitz screaming at the top of his lungs at 4:30 in the morning for us to get up and turn the shower faucet on, since clearly he couldn't be bothered to drink out of a BOWL, and clearly he needed fresh SPRING water and not day old PEASANT water. for weeks one of us would begrudgingly stumble out of our beds in a drunken dream like stupor and adhere to his fanciful demands.

i am not sure when the epiphany came, or what conditions led us to see the truth of our slavery...
but somehow our eyes were opened to the insanity of it all, and we decided to take matters into our own hands....

so... naturally...
i purchased the DRinkwell 5000, a "vet-approved, pet-friendly devise, created for cats and dogs alike-designed to improve healthy bladder conditions as well as provide your animal with the element of fresh quality they DESERVE".

truth be told, this purchase was made with much trepadation and scepticism. many items have been brought home with these feline creatures in mind only to find that our gifts were not "royalty worthy". i cannot even begin to count the number of "catnip mice" i own that lay by the wayside, young,petstore toy virgins, untouched and unnoticed.

regardless of these concerns, desperation and lack of sleep caused me to lay the good money down.
and i brought it home and filled it up and plugged it in.
and the spout gurgled and flowed and did what the box advertised it would do.
a few prayers were said over this humming little Niagra and we continued on with the day secretly hoping for signs of improvement, of change, of hope...

well, after many a restless hour...i am pleased to announce, that our time has come!!!
because wonder of all wonders, miracle of all miracles...
after his afternoon snack, the mighty beast stepped down from his golden throne and silently deemed the new "liquid giving appliance" "acceptable."

and the people rejoice!!!!!

in all of this i have learned-
that
Happiness is: getting a cat do to do exactly what you want it to do...
and obtaining one more hour of sleep before 5:30 food call.

2 comments:

James said...

i love your writings, they're so much fun to read!

i know exactly what you mean about fitz though, rusty's become the boss of me in some regards. it doesn't bother me though because he always brings a smile to my face, and that's worth doing anything for.

Chris said...

Good gravy, I think I live in the same crazy pet-centric world as you do! My cat Dollie has been eating dog treats out of the treat jar, and because she prefers the grilled chicken strips and the little steaks over the bacon strips and cheese pizza slices (all of them a dog treat version of the real thing), I find myself reaching for her preferred flavors in the pet food aisle.

Of course, our household only has certain flavors and brand names provided (at all times). The exact mix required many months of taste tests and experimentation, but I think the dogs AND the cat are happy now with the selection I provide.... :)